2018 Fic Retrospective
Jan. 2nd, 2019 08:47 pmI wrote what doesn’t feel like a lot, but in retrospect is actually quite a respectable amount in 2018. All totaled I posted 92,898 words to AO3, and between that and miscellaneous prompt fills here on tumblr (not to mention a metric ton of chatfic) I’m fairly sure I hit my 100k word goal for the year. Yay!
Here are the fics, by the numbers:
January
(none)
February
tomorrow is not promised (but tonight is on the table)
Borderlands, rhack, 13,627 words, soulmates AU
March
i can’t lie to you about your chances
Borderlands, rhack/rhackothy, 4,796 words, written for @sailorfuckthisshit for Borderlands Reverse Bang
what we (could) have
Borderlands, nishothy, 2,029 words, written for @pandoranmama for Borderlands Reverse Bang
April
Bullet for the Devil
Borderlands, rhack, 8,114 words, bad cop au
that one can see rightly
Persona 5, Akira/Joker/Arsene, 4,062 words, the first of several in which Joker makes an independent appearance
a knife is only as good as the one who wields it
Persona 5, Akira/Joker, 2,024 words, I wanted to write Akira and Joker playing with knives so I did
things i didn’t tell you (because i didn’t know)
Persona 5, pegoryu, 2,346 words, I started Ryuji’s confidant route and saw the light
just let it out (light it up)
Persona 5, Akira/Joker/Arsene, 2,351 words, Akira needs a safe space to unwind and who safer than himself
May
it’s time to get up and let go (you’re gonna come undone)
Persona 5, pegoryu, Akira/Joker/Ryuji, 3,387 words, Joker as an independent entity plus pegoryu, what’s not to like there I ask you
it’s a strange way of saying that I know I’m supposed to love you
Persona 5, pegoryu, 2,359 words, Ryuji gets hurt a lot and Akira doesn’t like it
June
not that kind of service (except when it is)
Persona 5, Akira/Akechi/Iwai, 2,876 words, shameless maid service au
all you have is your fire
Persona 5, akeshu, Shido/Akira, 2,553 words, That One Fic, comes with a serious content warning, mind those tags for real
July
what we keep close we’ll never lose
Persona 5, Goro Akechi & Loki, 2,172 words, a belated birthday present to myself
August
this isn’t what it looks like (you’re looking at it wrong)
Persona 5, Akira/Iwai, 3,291 words, some friends made a convincing argument for Akira/Iwai and I tripped on my keyboard
goodbye (hello)
Persona 5, pegoryu, 2,927 words, I made myself real sad about Akira’s life after the events of P5
as the stars go, so do I
Persona 5, pegoryugoro, 2,305 words, a very self-indulgent space au
i’m navigating blind (but maybe you can help)
Persona 5, pegoryu, 2,737 words, a second installment in a very self-indulgent space au
September
(none)
October
Kinktober 2018 Fills (finished in December)
Persona 5, pairings: many, 20,539 words all totaled, AUs: many
November
(none)
December
living too fast, too slow
Persona 5, akeshu, 1,417 words, Akira gets into a fight and Goro patches him up
when the sun sets in the east
Persona 5, ryugoro, 1,104 words, roleswap au where Akechi is the leader of the Phantom Thieves
you’re a loaded gun (and my finger’s on the trigger)
Persona 5, Joker/Akira/Akechi, 2,839 words, guns and makeouts
my heart will destroy us
Persona 5, Joker/Akira/Akechi, 3,043 words, guns and makeouts gets a sequel
Laying it out like this, I can spot exactly what was going on in the months where I didn’t post anything: January - depression; September - job turmoil; November - Kinktober burnout and fandom anxiety. So the lesson for me in 2019 is: take better care of myself, because when I feel like crap I don’t write, and when I don’t write I feel like crap, and so on. Writing can be self-care, but it can also be a way to beat yourself up when you feel like you’re not doing it right (or enough), so I’m going to try to move away from the second and toward the first.
That’s a lot of words, and a lot of words about my words. Thank you for sticking with me, and as always, an eternal thank you for reading. <3
Warnings/Tags: on individual chapters
Notes: I finally finished all of my Kinktober 2018 fills! Days 23 - 31 have now been updated - please enjoy. Happy New Year!
(Read on AO3)
FIC: my heart will destroy us (Persona 5)
Dec. 28th, 2018 08:55 pmWarnings/Tags: nsfw, so so nsfw, joker as a semi-separate entity from Akira, Goro’s in over his head, it’s possible he’s BEEN in over his head for some time, joker has a mind of his own, selfcest
Summary: Akira’s bed isn’t really big enough for the three of them, so it has to be Goro’s place.
Notes: Follows shortly after you’re a loaded gun (and my finger’s on the trigger). This was written for the “threesomes” prompt for Kinktober 2018, but it is long enough and late enough to stand on its own. Also I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t directly inspired by Tumblr user twilightknight17. :D
(Read on AO3)
Warnings/Tags: Joker as a semi-separate entity from Akira, gunplay, Joker is a posessive son of a bitch, Goro was not prepared for this
Summary: The first time Goro had kissed Akira, he had halfway expected resistance from Niijima, or Takamaki, or Sakamoto at the very least.
Instead, it comes from an entirely unanticipated corner.
Notes: This was technically written for the Kinktober 2018 prompt “gunplay,” but it’s long enough (and late enough) to stand on its own.
(Read on AO3)
FIC: when the sun sets in the east
Dec. 21st, 2018 01:42 pmWarnings/Tags: nsfw, a tiny take on a roleswap au where Akira's and Akechi's places are reversed and Akechi becomes the leader of the Phantom Thieves
Summary: Goro Akechi takes his role as the leader of the Phantom Thieves seriously; and Ryuji gets that, he does. Ryuji also gets that Goro needs to occasionally unwind or he's going to snap.
Notes: Written for a prompt on Pillowfort from use rein_hearts: "Ryugoro, PT Leader!Akechi,
(Read on AO3)
Warnings/Tags: hurt/comfort, a little bit of angst
Summary: Goro doesn't wait at Leblanc for Akira to come home. He doesn't have Akira's schedule memorized. And he definitely doesn't need to get involved when Akira comes home with a black eye and a busted lip.
Goro is completely honest with himself, all of the time.
Notes: this was written for fleurdeliser on Pillowfort for the prompt "Akira/Akechi - One of them patching the other up after something NOT palace-related. Akechi takes a header on his bike or Akira gets beat up in Shinjuku."
(Read on AO3)
I'll work on these throughout the week as they come in. Thanks for playing!
(Originally posted on Pillowfort)
When he’s seven years old Akira chases a ball into the street. He’s old enough to know better but young enough to forget, and as he picks up the ball the screeching of tires fills his ears. He looks up into the oncoming headlights, but there’s no time to move, no time for fear, no time for anything except the thought that his mother is going to kill him.
The world goes silent and his vision is swallowed up with blackness; he can smell burned rubber and hot engine oil, but nothing hurts. Was he hit? Is he dying? As the first spark of panic lights in his gut, the darkness ripples in front of his eyes and there’s a sound like the rustling of a thousand feathers. Then the darkness is sweeping back, and Akira is staring across the hood of a car at the white-knuckled driver, the bumper centimeters from his legs.
Akira’s nearly bowled over by his mother as the driver gets slowly out of the car. “Kid must have a guardian angel,” the driver says shakily as Akira’s mother holds him too tightly, and she agrees; but even at seven Akira knows enough to know that she’s just being polite. She’d explained to him very matter-of-factly about things like superstition, about angels and ghosts and other things that don’t exist.
So this couldn’t have been an angel. Besides, the wings had been black, not white.
When he’s thirteen, too old for imaginary friends but not sure he’s old enough for hallucinations, Akira looks up angels online. There are a lot of cutesy cherubs and websites whose owners clearly have too much time on their hands to wade through, but he finds himself drawn to the illustrations with inhuman proportions, with halos that crack the sky and eyes that burn.
The he looks up demons, and the results are less comforting.
The eyes he sees in his dreams are made of fire, but the smile beneath them is knowing, confident, and Akira shouldn’t feel soothed by something so jagged but even waking to the sensation of over-sized claws in his hair only leaves him wanting more.
Then he’s sixteen, and the worst night of his life has turned into a week, a month, a long drawn-out nightmare he can’t wake up from. Akira sleeps as much as he can. It’s preferable to being awake. He dreams of chains, of fire, of the susurration of a thousand black feathers that he can almost feel sweep across his face. He wakes up with wet cheeks and the sick, dull conviction that whatever he might have seen, whatever he might have thought, in the end he hadn’t been worth saving.
Then he’s in Tokyo, and then he’s - somewhere else, somewhere fantastical, in the dungeons of a castle that can’t be real with a boy he’s just met and an impossible choice. Akira swallows past the memories in his throat and the blades at his neck; another time, another place, but the same choice. He got it wrong the first time but he can’t seem to get it right here either because the lead that’s been moving through his veins since that night is turning molten and clearly there are no such things as guardian angels, because if he had one it wouldn’t let this happen twice.
The world slows and stops, and a low bass chuckle rumbles through Akira’s head.
I cannot save you, it says, and Akira nearly screams in rage because what is the point, then, what has this even been all about?
I cannot save you, the voice repeats, but call my name, and I can give you the power to save yourself.
There are gas-blue flames whirling around his feet, and Akira bares his teeth in a razor smile he can feel echoed in his heart. He doesn’t have to ask; he hadn’t known it before this moment but he can feel the name written in his bones, in his blood, a compact he will gladly sign.
“Come, Arsene!” The words burn as they leave his mouth and the flames wreathe him from head to toe but Arsene is unfolding behind him, stretching his wings until they brush the corners of the cell. His laughter thrums through Akira’s bones, and as his veins fill with fire Akira laughs with him. Angel or demon, it hardly matters because what matters most is that Akira has the power to set things right, the power to end this.
This is hardly the end, Akira, Arsene purrs between the beats of his heart. This is only the beginning.
(From this prompt list) | (original post)
Prompt Fill: Pirate AU, Akira/Akechi
Dec. 15th, 2018 05:08 pmThe form draped over the broken and splintered piece of hull looks half-drowned already, soaked through and skin burned red by the unforgiving sun. He’s not moving, nor had he responded to Ryuji’s hail from the bow.
He is also, unmistakably, wearing the remains of a Royal Navy uniform.
Akira drums his fingers on the Phantom’s rail.
Yusuke leans his forearms on the weathered wood next to him. “He’s probably already dead.”
“Hm.” Akira eyes the fingers clenched tight around the rough-edged piece of flotsam.
“It might be a kindness to let him rest with his crew.”
“Hm.”
Yusuke sighs, pushing off from the rail. “Ryuji’s readying the dinghy.”
Akira smiles, watching the figure bob in the waves. It’s hard to tell from here, but the red on what remains of the uniform’s shoulders could be a commandant’s stripes. The Robin Hood had been sighted in these waters, which are more treacherous than the Navy usually cares for; then again its captain had always been a good sight better, or a great deal luckier, than his fellows.
Until now, it seems.
If he believed in such things, Akira would almost think it was some kind of fate, or destiny, that has Ryuji dump a waterlogged and sunburnt Goro Akechi at his feet. The Commandant doesn’t react when Akira crouches and rolls him on his back, although his eyelids flutter and his chest moves shallowly.
Still breathing, then. Akira doesn’t know if that’s good luck or bad, or to which of them it applies.
Chihaya would say it’s both, he muses as he gets an arm under Akechi’s shoulders and hoists, Ryuji stepping in on the other side. Good luck for Akechi that he was found at all, that the ship that found him happens to have a bona fide physician as a passenger, that Dr. Takemi says there’s nothing wrong with him beyond exhaustion and dehydration. Bad luck for Akira that the poor sod he rescued turned out to be the naval officer dead set on seeing him brought back to the mainland in chains.
Akira thanks Dr. Takemi and closes the door to his cabin behind her. Akechi looks small in his bed; unassuming, like he isn’t trying to bring Akira’s whole world crashing down around him.
Akira sighs, dragging over a chair and settling in to wait for Akechi to wake up.
(From this prompt list) | (original post)